We didn't have nails to drive into our eyeballs. We didn't even have eyeballs, we had eyecubes. We had to file down the corners if we wanted eyeballs. After we filed them down, if we wanted to drive pointed objects under them, we had to carve wooden spikes out of oak trees. We didn't have hammers, either. Someone would have to ram their head into the wooden spikes to drive them under our newly-filed eyeballs.
At least you had oak trees! When I was a youngin, we didn't have natural trees of any sort. If we wanted trees, we had to build 'em out of dirt! And then we had to let 'em petrify before we could make pointy things out of 'em. After that, and only after that, could we drive pointy things into ourselves. And you could forget about eyes! No sir, we didn't have 'em, didn't need 'em, and didn't want 'em! Running blindly into petrified dirt trees was what we did for fun!
Now turn down that awful ruckus you call music! And get out of my yard!
You were lucky to have dirt! We didn't have anything to play with. When me and my 24 brothers and sisters wanted to have fun, we got thrased by our father with a broken bottle. And then we would have to work 27 hours a day, 9 days a week, 15 months a year and get a penny a year.
You got paid? What luxury! We had to pay in a pint of our own blood every day for right to drag ourselves backwards and uphill for 10 miles on broken glass so that we could work for 30 hours a day with single 30 second lunch break during which we drank molten lead and ate chunks of anthracite. You kids just dont know how good you have it now.
Anthracite! Sheesh. We would have loved to eat anthracite. When I was your age, we had to kill dinosaurs with our bare hands, bury them in sedimentary rock and wait for coal! And we liked it! We liked it fine!
Eclipse? Why when I was young we didn't have clouds or eclipses. Light was slipping away into a nearby black hole, and we were lucky just to get bombarded with horrific amounts of x-rays. That's the way it was, and we LIKED IT!
Black? In my day we didn't have black, or color. What puerility! We slaved 90 hours a day to develop white! And we appreciated it!
And what's this non-sense about holes? Back when I was your age, we didn't have holes, we only had half-holes. We bore them out with our bloody ingrown cuticles, hygiene hadn't been invented yet. We dug em, and we liked it.
White? You developed white? Why, in my day, we didn't even have developers! We had to develop developers! We worked hard 40 hours a day, 30 days a week for sixteen years to create one developer!
Nowadays ya'll are all spoiled doin' yer damned "DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS!" monkey dance. And don't get me started on monkeys!
The best way to avoid responsibility is to say, "I've got responsibilities."
When I was your age (Score:5, Funny)
Kids these days...
Re:When I was your age (Score:2, Funny)
At least you had oak trees! When I was a youngin, we didn't have natural trees of any sort. If we wanted trees, we had to build 'em out of dirt! And then we had to let 'em petrify before we could make pointy things out of 'em. After that, and only after that, could we drive pointy things into ourselves. And you could forget about eyes! No sir, we didn't have 'em, didn't need 'em, and didn't want 'em! Running blindly into petrified dirt trees was what we did for fun!
Now turn down that awful ruckus you call music! And get out of my yard!
Re:When I was your age (Score:1)
Re:When I was your age (Score:2)
Re:When I was your age (Score:1)
Re:When I was your age (Score:1)
Re:When I was your age (Score:1)
And what's this non-sense about holes? Back when I was your age, we didn't have holes, we only had half-holes. We bore them out with our bloody ingrown cuticles, hygiene hadn't been invented yet. We dug em, and we liked it.
Re:When I was your age (Score:2)
Nowadays ya'll are all spoiled doin' yer damned "DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS!" monkey dance. And don't get me started on monkeys!